Want your child to become a better writer?

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In that case, parents should feel flattered daily, especially when their children are small. It seemed every time I turned around, I saw myself re-created in my young children.

Now, some of this imitation seemed less than flattering. Take, for example, my daughter’s stern commands to her dolls to “clean up this mess.” I especially liked it, though, when they tried to imitate new academic skills that they had watched their parents and older siblings use.

I still remember the day when my youngest daughter decided to try her hand at cursive writing. Having recently mastered the process of printing the alphabet and combining letters to make short words, she decided she was up to the challenge of “writing” in the beautiful flowing script of her elders. (Well, it looked beautiful to her, anyway.)

We sat together at a table, I writing letters and she filling her lined tablet with lovely looping characters. She would alternately watch me and then reproduce what she saw.

Experts say this kind of modeling is essential for kids to develop healthy academic skills. If you want your child to become a reader, let her see you reading often. If you want her to develop good study skills, model hard work and perseverance in all sorts of tasks. If you want her to value education, you’d better continue to ask questions and learn new skills yourself.

Although we were sending letters that day, we could also have found other things to write that would have made writing fun: rewriting a television commercial, creating a journal or making up a new ending to a favorite story. The idea was to show by example that writing has a purpose, it’s a positive activity, and it can be fun.

At least, that’s what I thought my daughter was learning. As often happens when you actually sit down and work with your children, I learned a little about her as well. I discovered a few gaps in her understanding about the meaning of all those carefully crafted characters.

After diligently filling a dozen or so lines with jagged, undecipherable text—complete with ascenders and descenders—she handed me her page.

“There, Mom,” she boasted. “Now, read what it says.”

I paused, buying time and a strategy that would preserve her feelings. With a flash of creativity, I reverted to an old preschool-teaching tactic.

“Tell me a little about the story first,” I suggested.

Her flashing eyes caught mine and she answered with a hint of gentle reproach.

“Mom, you know I can’t read cursive.”

Who Cares About Good Writing?
Nearly everyone. From the college classroom, to the office or boardroom, good oral and written communication skills are cited as the top skills today’s adults need.

Want your child to become a better writer?

The best way to become a better writer is to write…a lot! Boys, especially, often need some extra incentive, and can benefit from experiencing firsthand the usefulness and rewards of writing.

The key to encouraging children to write at home is parent participation. Let your children see you writing notes, letters and memos. Encourage them to write letters about their difficult questions or dilemmas, and leave letters for a parent to read. Parents, in turn, can write back, leaving the letter somewhere in their child’s room. The practice not only gives kids—especially teenagers—an alternate, less threatening way to communicate with their parents, but also turns writing into a meaningful exercise.

There are other fun, practical activities that can improve your child’s writing skills:

• Interview family members about life experiences; take notes and write short stories based on what they learn.

• Keep a journal. Write about daily activities, important life events, feelings and other personal topics in a special notebook.

• Turn watching television into a learning activity by writing a “review” of a show you’ve watched. Ask your child to retell the show’s story or explore the values and meanings it expressed.

• Read aloud to your children—of all ages. Hearing well-written sentences and well-expressed ideas makes children better writers themselves.

• Make up a meaning for an obscure word you find in the dictionary. Ask your older child to write a detailed definition of what they think the word means. Read it aloud before revealing the real meaning.

• Listen and write the stories very young children tell you. Encourage them to use complete sentences. This will prepare them to write alone when they get older.

• Avoid criticism. Ask questions and offer suggestions instead. Taking a “right vs. wrong” approach could end up stifling the creativity that is key to good writing.