French for “Long live the difference” (between the sexes).

My youngest daughter’s claim to fame is her vocabulary. She said her own name at six months and now, at age two, she carries on actual conversations, like, with adjectives. Because my mother taught me to blush at compliments, whenever someone praises Marta’s speaking skills I say something like, “Oh, you know little girls! They love to talk.” My friend Ellen, who has two boys the same ages as my girls, grunts at this. “I don’t know,” she says. “She’s really saying quite a bit.”

Her boys, on the other hand, are dissecting mechanical trains and developing complex climbing systems to reach their cups or toys, and they understand the rules of every sporting event known to man.

Research shows that our little ones are following universal trends. As early as three hours of age, girls excel at imitation—a precursor to back-and-forth interaction. They’re more attuned to the sound of human voices than boys, and start using gestures like pointing or waving earlier. At 16 months, they produce as many as 100 words, while the average boy uses about 30.

Their brothers, on the other hand, express fear later than girls, and less often. One study found that when their moms made a fearful face when they approached a toy, 12-month-old boys went for it anyway, while girls slowed their path.

Boys end up in the ER more for injuries, their gross motor skills take off during preschool years, and they prefer watching mechanical motion over human interaction.They’re also ahead of their female friends when it comes to figuring out the laws of motion (if they push a train through a tunnel, it will pop out the other side, for example).

While chromosomes are at work when our babies learn to play early-on, our children are sweet and naughty, smart and challenged entirely in their own ways, no matter their sex. What’s important for parents to remember is that when we model behavior—good or bad—it’s imitated.

Jodie Withey, mom to two girls and two boys in Harbor Springs, doesn’t mind letting nurture give nature a little kick in the pants. “I believe I’m a better woman because I know how to run a lawn mower, fix a leaky pipe, build a swing set, wire a light and check the oil in the car,” she said, “so I do try to teach my daughters things that may fall into the ‘male’ category. At the same time, I have my sons help with the dishes or the preparation of food, because I know what that means to me as a wife when my husband helps me out. I believe that we pass on our views to these impressionable lives during the early years.”

It’s a concept many parents take to heart. Respect, compassion, confidence and kindness aren’t found on a DNA code—they’re taught at home. And whether a child is a tomboy or all boy, made of sugar and spice or snips and snails, it’s all about how they follow their passions in life that helps them become well-rounded adults.

Common Myths About Boys and Girls

• Boys bully more than girls: Girls actually bully as much as or more than boys. While physical assaults are more common among boys, girls bully using social aggression.
• Boys are better at math, computers and science: In the U.S., girls perform as well as boys on standardized math tests. Girls are now taking calculus in high school at the same rate as boys, and the percentage of U.S. doctorates in the mathematical sciences awarded to women has climbed to 30 percent in the 21st century, up from 5 percent in the 1950s.
• Girls have low self-esteem: Research says that fourth grade is the peak year for girls’ self-esteem, but in fifth grade it plummets. Ten-year-old girls report feeling image-obsessed and depressed because they don’t look like the models and actresses they see in the media. Between 20 and 40 percent of 10-year-olds diet, and 73 percent of girls between the ages of eight and 10 dress and talk like teenagers to “fit in.”
• Boys get in trouble more now than ever: Justice Department statistics show that the population of juvenile males in prison is only half of its historic high. The number of high school senior boys using illegal drugs has fallen by almost half compared with the 1980 rate, and the percentage of high school boys drinking heavily is now the lowest on record.

• Girls are the only sensitive sex: Not true, cry legions of parents. In fact, one researcher who studied babies during their first few months of life found that a higher proportion of girls could calm themselves when their mother’s face displayed a ‘stony expression,’ but the boys could not. More boys would get easily distressed, they cried more, and were unable to calm themselves.